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What’s the Difference?

  • Deborah 

I believe that compassion and empathy often get intermixed and therefore confused. Allow me to clarify so that we can be on the same page going forward. 

Both empathy and compassion are emotions, but one (empathy) is much more internal than external. Empathy says, “I know how you feel. I have been where you are. I can relate.” 

Compassion on the other hand is much more external. Compassion may begin with empathy. It says, “I know how you are feeling therefore I act.” For instance, today is the anniversary of my mother-in-law going to Heaven two years ago. My empathy causes me to be in touch with the grief my husband may be feeling. Compassion tells me to give him extra love and hugs today and treat him with extra tenderness. 

Think about the father in “The Parable of the Lost Son”. Luke 15:20 tells us, 

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”

The father knew that his son needed his dad to meet him and show him love. 

That is compassion. 

There is another slight difference that is worth noting. Empathy is “feeling with”. It is putting myself in your shoes and imagining what you might be feeling. Compassion does rely on “feeling with.” . It is broade\r than that. 

Compassion says, “I may not know how you feel, but I am moved to act on your behalf.”

Compassion puts 1 John 3:18 to work in our lives. 

 “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 

Let us be a compassionate people. 

Let us be a people who do not love ONLY with words or speech, but with actions and in truth.